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:iconnullibicity: More from Nullibicity


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Submitted on
April 21, 2013
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i.
She wished to be dressed in poetry
but she didn’t understand that
imagery fades and that metaphors
are too easily forgotten.

ii.
She asked why I didn’t utilize my
alliteration eyes—why I hid the tag
‘ hello my name is: writer
beneath San Francisco bays
and rotting ink grenades,
still in dead crusade.

iii.
I broke pencil shavings in
skybound veins, just to taste
the words
and I bled like a sinner
for mere dreams of some redemption.


“I’m only a poet of capitulation”



You are the story, and
I am the pen

(you were always
fond of masquerades)




Another "what I need to say" poem which is popping into the personal folder. Why? This has to do with my past self... who sometimes still manages to appear with new naivety.
I hope you enjoy! I also honestly hope I did the whole "section" poem thing right. This is my first time attempting, and it honestly seemed the only way to do it: Regular stanzas and paragraphing just weren't cutting it.

Thank you so very much for the view!

~ Critique, as always, is deeply appreciated! :blowkiss: ~
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:iconprotorepublic:
ProtoRepublic Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
Font was so small I couldn't read it. So I'm going to assume it was about an autistic duck named Larry who's trying to make it the world.

I really loved how you played Larry the autistic duck's spectrum disorder. Very subtle; the compulsion to arrange the sugar and cream packets at his token job at Starbucks; his emotional outburst after having learned that his young daughter was becoming a ward of the state despite his best attempts at loving parenting.

And especially striking was the end compromise, the lack of resolution which burns constantly. Larry the autistic duck never got his daughter back, but I think what this poem is trying to say is that, It's for the better. For both of their sake.

Easily in the top 30 works of fiction featuring autistic ducks that I have ever read.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
iloveyou
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:iconprotorepublic:
ProtoRepublic Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
;)
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for your time. You have a very creative imagination :giggle:
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:iconprotorepublic:
ProtoRepublic Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
<3
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:iconschriftsteller:
schriftsteller Featured By Owner May 29, 2013   Writer
This is completely brilliant. I don't think I've ever read a more proper and wonderful poem on the subject of being a writer. At least not one I can remember right now-- there aren't too many out there anyway. I'm really glad I stumbled on this!
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think I almost died :stare:
You are so wonderful: your words just hit all the right buttons. I feel that sounds incredibly egotistical or something (but I actually have pretty low-self esteem?)
Anyway, you made me feel like a pound of gold! Thank you so very much for taking the time to leave some feedback on this piece: It means a lot to me! I'm so happy my poem could be worthwhile to someone. To have such words extended to this piece just makes me feel such a swell of gratitude. Thank you, again :hug:

I'm also sorry if I've scared you off with this odd reply; I tend to say 'whatever' around 1 in the morning.
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:iconschriftsteller:
schriftsteller Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013   Writer
Oh, I'm just being honest! I'm glad that it made you feel good, though. Don't worry about scaring me off-- I don't scare easily. I really did love the poem. I need to have a gander through the rest of your gallery. :hug:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are very kind :heart:
I hope you like what you find! I look forward to looking through your gallery, too. I've just been so busy :( but I'lll definitely write it down so I won't forget! I really do want to take the proper time to read and comment on your work, so even if I can't do it in bulk, perhaps I can just leave a comment here and there? That'd be nice, I think! :hug:
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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This reads so, so beautifully, but I think I could enjoy it more with a bigger font? I have slight astigmatism, but if you really want this to be petite, I suggest using just one < sup >. :)

It does resemble a dreamy-like state, but could be dreamier and a bit more memory-like and readable at the same time. I keep squinting and my eyes hurt. :C
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