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Treasured Literature by LadyLincoln

Literature by DSteffi


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July 18, 2013
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There are bruises on my legs again.

Maybe I tried too hard for the stars - struck hemispheres of dreaming too big - while I count one, two, three, four, five shiners on my legs, ten lookers on each arm (your jointed peals of rage) and, probably, forty-four on my heart – though it’s not like I ever counted the number of times you beat me down, before.

It never did matter if I was enough for the 16 years - or for the Escitalopram - because I was never a star jumper that could  trade in comets for the cratered, disfigured life of meteors.


There are bruises on my legs again, and I think I should stop dreaming.

WHAT? I wrote prose?
Yes. and quite horribly. However, thoughts would still be appreciated. Inspired from the way my legs always seem to sport bruises (I knock them on everything - it's a wonder they still work).

:bulletpurple: I kind of want the "and I think I should stop dreaming" to have more of an impact... however, I'm unsure what to do. Your thoughts? Or did it strike you well enough in the repetition of the idea?
:bulletpurple: Weak spots? I know there's probably millions, so please feel free to tell me!


Thank you so much for your time. :rose:

~ Critique, as always, is deeply appreciated :blowkiss: ~

 

Add a Comment:
 
:icondailylitrecognition:
DailyLitRecognition Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014

Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLR (Daily Literature Recognitions) in a news article that can be found here: Daily Lit Recognition for December 31st, 2014. Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.


Keep writing and keep creating.

Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much. I am so grateful!!
Keep going strong, team! You're wonderful! :rose:
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:iconlunar-glow:
lunar-glow Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
The visuals and metaphors are great. I think that the last line is plenty powerful enough.
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so very glad to hear you think so. Thank you! :iconbowplz::heart::heart:
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:iconlunar-glow:
lunar-glow Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014
You're welcome. Heart Balloon Emote 
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your fantastic work has been featured here! :heart:
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:icondarksonicsoul:
darksonicsoul Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013
 love you're writings they're all so amazing and this one definitely is no exception! Great work
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Oh my goodness! :blushes:

Your words always make me feel so fantastic. Thank you so very, very much for always taking the time out of your day to leave me such uplifting and encouraging sentiments! It's so deeply appreciated :hug: You're just so very kind! :faint:

 

Have a lovely day! :rose:

Reply
:icondarksonicsoul:
darksonicsoul Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013
You're welcome! I'm glad I can help so much :hug: just want you to know how awesome ya are :icongreatjobplz: 
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

:squee: you just make me want to hug you every single time! Seriously!

Thank you so much for all of the encouragement and praise! :tighthug: it's wonderful people like you that keep me - and wanting to do so, honestly - chuggin' right along :happybounce:

 

Have a fantastic day! You deserve it! :rose:

Reply
:icondarksonicsoul:
darksonicsoul Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013
Hehe aww XD 
Hehe that's great to know . Again glad I can help ya :glomp:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle::heart:
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:icondarksonicsoul:
darksonicsoul Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013
:iconaawplz:
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:iconpoisonpenpresents:
PoisonPenPresents Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really love this piece. I love how you had a lot of astrological references in it. Overall, a wonderful piece. It made me want to see more of your work.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Your comment just made my day! Really! Thank you so very, very much! I'm honored to receive such uplifting, thoughtful, and encouraging words! You truly are a lovely soul. :blowkiss:

 

I appreciate the watch as well! More than words! :tighthug: I really hope that I do not disappoint you with my future work!

Reply
:iconpoisonpenpresents:
PoisonPenPresents Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks, darling. :) 
I'm happy that my opinion could brighten your day. I'm sure that you will continue to amaze me with your work :)
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

You're most definitely welcome! :tighthug:

It really did! I appreciated it c: and I thank you for being so optimistic about my work. I really will try my best! :rose:

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:iconpoisonpenpresents:
PoisonPenPresents Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
(Not trying to pressure or anything. I just think you'll do well )
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

:giggle: Oh you, you make me smile! I know you didn't mean it this way, but you are such a lovely, lovely person for taking me into consideration when it comes to misunderstandings. I just think that's wonderful!

Thanks for all of your encouragement!! It truly does my heart wonders! :heart::heart:

I hope to get back to writing really soon!

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:iconpmcde7:
pmcde7 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Student Writer
Wow. This is amazing. I mean really amazing! It absolutly shook me, as if you were implying that I, the reader, should stop dreaming with that last sentence. It holds an incredibly stong impact for me, and it actually feels nice to read prose like this. Thank you, love. :heart:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Hey, you~ It's so fantastic to hear from you, and I was so wonderfully surprised! I hope you've been well :tighthug:

 

Now to your comment: thank you so much for writing me something so wonderful! I always enjoy reading how my words impacted others!! It's just such a pleasure. Hearing people liked it is just a gift, as well! Thank you so very much! I thought it was interesting how you seemed to feel that the last line was aimed at you! That was deliciously thought-provoking, and I'm so happy to have this perspective. I'm really glad that it seemed to engage the reader in that way: I was kind of worried it was too personal, so no one would really find it relatable or enjoyable? I'm glad to be proven wrong by you, though. You're just marvelous. Thank you! :rose:

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:iconpmcde7:
pmcde7 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so sorry I haven't been commenting much, I'm having an apathetic spell of wallowing in self-disappointment and -doubt, but hopefuly it's going away now. Your prose was just so fantastic, I couldn't bring myself to not commend you on it! :tighthug:

It's nice to hear how my appreciation of your work makes you so happy! I think that, with the way it was written, it's very personal, but in a way that would let many readers be able to understand and easily be able to relate to it. You're just such a skilled writer, I don't think it would be possible for you to create amateur literature. :hug:
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:iconepicaracacy:
Epicaracacy Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Student Writer
the "and i think i should stop dreaming" was incredibly impactful to myself, a dreamer. I think that part should stay

couldn't find any weak spots apparent through one reading.

It flows well, and I think this could fall in both poetry AND prose, so i think that part is all up to you :)

Have a great day, thankyou for gracing us small time artists with your beautiful art.

     ~H
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

:glomp: I'm so glad to hear from you! Thank you for taking the time to write out a comment.

I'm super happy that the ending did impact you well! I was kind of worried about it. I've just never been gifted at ending my written work... so dare I say, that this is the first piece I've actually ended successfully? :dance:

 

Thank you for always being so wonderfully honest. I am so grateful!

Your compliment is just so lovely, too. I'm amazed people can think of my thoughts as beautiful. It just means a lot! I'm glad I seem to be progressing. Thank you, again! :rose:

Reply
:iconepicaracacy:
Epicaracacy Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Student Writer
I think most of your endings seem sucessful from my point of view :) 

You're welcome, but it's only right to post honest opinions when people pour their heart in soul into their art forms and put it here for the world to see.

:) see you soon, have a great day
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:iconblackmeths:
BlackMeths Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I can somewhat relate to the features in the prose extract as being the emotions of disillusionment - as suggested in the multitudes of bruises incurred in the vain attempt to reach for stars. Possibly, those cosmic satellites represent the dreams or goals unachievable, beyond our feeble reach? Nonetheless, it is a well-written prose script, and the brevity of the final sentence in contrast to the bulk of the center paragraph actually works quite suitably - I approve :)
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

You are so eloquent when you state your thoughts. I think that's amazing! Normally, I'm not too literate unless I have the time to truly think through each individual thought. Nowadays, no one really seems to have the time... at least in face-to-face conversation. It's just really refreshing to see your lovely thoughts, I suppose. Thank you for sharing! Your words make me smile.

 

I really liked how you described some of this piece, too. I would say you are quite spot on. So yes, they are unreachable. However, in my mind, not all of these dreams were unreasonable... they were just out of reach given certain people, circumstances, and fates, etc. I think these kinds of let downs happen to be the worst: You know you should be able to reach it, but you just can't. After too many, you just realize that certain people are destined for greatness, and others are destined to simply watch the stars instead of reaching for them. I suppose this was the story of my realization... but it's not like I've completely accepted that I will always be a stargazer. Perhaps, in time, I will also be able to reach... if I stretch on my tiptoes and just believe. It's just that, sometimes, faith is in vain.

 

Thanks, again, for your fantastic comment! I do so love hearing from you, and you always give me such lovely perspective. I am grateful. :rose:

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:iconif-cloud-was-a-girl:
If-Cloud-Was-A-Girl Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey there.
Wow, for your very first prose, this is beautiful!Aww 

Bullet; Purple If you'd like to make a more visual impact, perhaps use the different typing styles they have on dA?
For example, writing the sentence in Bold could help? or even italics?
If you're not sure how, just let me know and I can write it out ;)

Bullet; Blue The only weak spot is your confidence, dear. Please believe me when I say this is a very well-written and impactful piece.

Bullet; Red If the sentence "It never mattered" is bothering you a bit, perhaps "It never did matter" would be a preferable change?
I hope that inspires you somewhat :P

Bullet; Black This is perfect in prose form, rest assured Wink/Razz 

So I hope this helps, and the very best of luck with your "real-life" endeavours.
They say a shrink always had their own shrink, so just know I'm always here to talk to Huggle! 
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Oh my. You are fantastic! Thank you so very much for taking the time to write me such a thoughtful and lovely comment! :huggle:

 

:bulletpurple: Thank you for your thoughts! I do think some changes might make it more visually impactful, but I also feel like it may look a bit out of place. Hmmm. Maybe I'll mull some spots over, though there are, I think, a couple words already in italics. I just like the idea of having this piece somewhat soft (even if it's just in looks) so bold may be a bit too harsh. I will mull it over, though! If I find any places that would particularly benefit, I will be sure to make the changes right away!

:bulletblue: :blush: Goodness. Thank you so very, very much! I'm so glad that you liked this, then!

:bulletred: This is exactly what I needed! :glomp: Thank you! I shall change it immediately. I really like the flow of this version better. <3

:bulletblack: I'm so happy you think so!

 

I just really appreciate you right now! Your words are incredibly helpful, and I am so grateful to receive such wonderful words of praise! Thank you, also, for the invitation. Sometimes I get quite overwhelmed, and sometimes I'm just a crybaby. If I ever need to talk to someone, though, I will be sure to contact you! Thanks. May I extend the same invitation to you? I don't know how much I'll particularly be able to help, but I really do love to listen - just something to keep in mind, should you ever need to vent, rant, etc.

Thanks, again, lovely! :heart:

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:iconif-cloud-was-a-girl:
If-Cloud-Was-A-Girl Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, no problem!
It's one thing to comment some critique, but it's lovely to see that you value my opinion and took time in answering. Thank you!

Please don't feel like you need to make any particular changes to your work because of my comments. My only intentions are to ispire you to continue practicing and perfecting your clear talent :')

Haha, everybody can get a bit mopy sometimes, so go ahead and vent out whenever you feel like it!
I'm right here, and I really appreciate that you're there for me, too! Hug 
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

It is completely my pleasure! I just really appreciate the people who are trying to help me grow. I really desire that, and it's so fantastic and touching to see someone willing to take time out of their day to help. :tighthug:

 

Oh, please! Your suggestions were lovely! I usually weigh each option anyway, and I see if it sounds better with or without, etc. Your critique was really thought out, though, and you provided reasons and how the original thing impacted you... I'm grateful!

Thank you for the wonderful compliment, as well! You are too kind to me :heart::heart: however, I've managed to claw my way this far due to the wonderful help I've received from such lovely deviants as you. Thank you so very, very much!

 

Aw, thank you! I will be sure to do that. You too! Just if you ever feel like it. It's always just wonderful to have a support system, and I'd really like if it weren't one sided. However, if you never really encounter a problem that you feel can be told to a complete stranger, then that's fine, too. Just know I'd like to be there for you, too, where I am able! thanks for being so lovely! :rose:

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:iconif-cloud-was-a-girl:
If-Cloud-Was-A-Girl Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So glad you appreciate the comments :)
It's attentive artists like you who make critiquing and commenting worthwhile!

I've added you to my watch, cause I'd love to see more of your work, and threw in a llama, as you are the nicest deviant I have met since I started! (well, 'cept my other half, of course ;) )

I look forward to seeing more work from you in the future, and if you have any niggling problems, don't hesitate :P
I can't promise to be on dA every day, but when I am I'll be sure to answer your comments/chat with as much thought put in as I can! High Five 
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013   Writer
Kelsey, this is a beautiful piece of prose! It comes off as very poetic-like, almost like it's 'proserty' and I love it so much. The last sentence blew me away. :heart:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Gah! :love::huggle:

 

I am so very happy and honored to hear you say such words! I'm incredibly grateful to be receiving them! You always help a lot, and to hear you say that you liked this piece, and that you thought it was beautiful... that just really makes me smile! Thanks for being so wonderful. Your words mean the world to me~ :hug:

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:iconithaswhatitisnt:
ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"I think I should stop dreaming" gives it a finality, but also a tone that leads one to ponder it further. 

I didn't feel there were any weak spots at all. 

There wasn't any disjointed flow because in the end, it all came back to the central theme. 

It could be in poetry form if you really wanted it to be, or you could leave it like this and call it "prosetry", as it seems all the hip youngun's are doing these days. :) 
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Thank you so very much for taking the time to answer my questions! :glomp: I really appreciate that~

Your words were just so lovely, and I'm happy that the last line really tied everything up - normally, I'm not too good with endings, but I've been practicing! I'm so happy it seemed to work okay for this piece :love:

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:iconpuffleguy:
Puffleguy Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Student Writer
Love the astronomy metaphors Sunflower, and I have to say, i've never seen Escitalopram used in prose before! :clap:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

I just love seeing that nickname :giggle: Thanks for the kind words, and I'm so happy that you liked this one! It was definitely an experiment... but I enjoyed it, so it's nice to see if others receive it well! :huggle:

I always appreciate your comments, so thank you, again~ <3

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:iconpuffleguy:
Puffleguy Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Student Writer
My pleasure! :huggle:
Sure you're not the only one who enjoyed it :clap:
How's the roadtrip going Sunflower?
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Eh, interestingly?

I keep skipping days just because crap happens. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things! It just takes me forever to do one person (it usually takes about two hours a deviant, depending on how much their words impacted me and in what way, etc), so sometimes it's also hard to stay motivated. I'll keep trying my best, though! I'm getting through people, and I plan to make sure everyone gets the feedback they deserve :love:

I just hope that no one will become too angry with the fact that I'm now starting to take forever. I really do desire to get to everyone, though! Perhaps I shall try harder. Thank you for asking and for caring! I don't know if I've told you this before, but I quite adore you! <3

 

How are things going with you? :hug:

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:iconpuffleguy:
Puffleguy Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Student Writer
No worries Sunflower, just take as long as ya need, no one'll get annoyed; this is DeviantArt after all! We're all stressed, broken and batty here! We're artists! Whatcha expect? A good life comes with challenges! Everyone's in the same boat, which is why we're all so pleased (and, admittedly,  impressed) that you're doing this. For you to spend two hours on each one is above and beyond a duty that wasn't yours in the first place!
Keep on chuggin', no rush m'hearty :hug:
Aw, thanks for asking :')
Well i've been to hospital recently, nothing serious, and Mum and Brother were in a crash, again just cosmetic damage to them but was bit stress-filled. But yesterday I found some music I love so s'all's good in the world of me :squee:
Not sure whether I made this clear last time, but I owe you a very :tighthug: Just for being you!
:rose:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

My god. I JUST LOVE YOU :nuu:

 

Wow. I never really thought about it like that, but I think you make an incredibly valid point! Thanks for giving me such perspective! Sometimes I feel pathetic for how many obstacles I seem to let obstruct my path, but it's actually incredibly comforting to know I'm not the only one. While I may let too many things hinder me, I just love how supportive everyone is here, and that they can forgive me. You, yourself, are just such a lovely soul. I'm so pleased to have met you, and I'm grateful! I'd really like to get to know you further, if you're okay with that? Everyone likes to become friends differently, but I do enjoy notes, Skype (though I'm an incredibly awkward person, lol, but I hope it sometimes puts people at ease?), and just conversations such as these. If you would like to become better acquainted, I guess! I don't want to do anything you are uncomfortable with!

 

Carrot! Oh my lord. I am so incredibly sorry! That... I just am tearing up right now! Is everyone really okay? Are YOU okay? That's horrible. I really want you to all be okay. Please take care of yourself, okay? Like, I know you probably do already, but please remember to take the proper time to recover! I want you to be all healthy and happy and just your resilient, beautiful self. Please know my best wishes are extending to you and your family! My god. That must have been horribly stressful and upsetting to experience! I know that sometimes I can't always help, but please know that I'm always here to listen. If you ever need to talk, I would love nothing more than to hear about the things that are bothering you. Or even the things that are making your day wonderful! Maybe it's weird to say this, but when I talk to you, my heart swells with such love! Whatever you need, okay? I'm here, if you want!

 

I'm happy to hear you found some good music, though! That's wonderful! I just love music. It's so inspiring and heartwarming. If you find any particular gems, and if you'd like to share, I'm pretty much into all genres of music and would love a few recommendations... if the mood ever arises in you to give some!

 

:blushes: aww, thank you. and I really do hope you are okay. I'm just so worked up... you are incredibly strong, carrot. I don't think I'd be able to deal with that. Just remember to take some proper time for yourself. You are so lovely of a soul - a wonderful human being. :tighthug::heart::heart:

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:iconpuffleguy:
Puffleguy Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Student Writer
Oh Sunflower! The sheer size of your replies is worth a DD in itself! The weight they carry, in both emotion and sentiment is astonishing!  :huggle: It's just...they're so...MY WORDS NO WORKY! You're fab, really, just the best :clap:

If you ever feel anything akin to desperation, depression or dejection, there are "27 million registered artists and art appreciators", God knows how many people doing your poetry club and one me, all of whom are more than happy to share pain and spread the joy! I've yet to meet any Deviant who is anything other than polite, friendly and intelligent; although you seem to surpass them in all these qualities and with a pinch of...well more like a handful of adorableness that just makes me wanna hug ya 'til you get bored of me! :tighthug:

I would LOVE to get to know you! :squee: Although you should probably know i'm a raving introvert (if there is such a thing) and a penchant for trying things that i'll never be able to finish. As well as being a leading expert in procrastination! Not really sure how I make friends, seems to just happen, much like now! Friends?X3 Emote :eeeee:
Music's a personal thing; it doesn't show mood, taste or personality, it is more the sound of the soul (oooo, I like that, must remember it). It is a snapshot of their very being! Once I begin to see yours, i'll send a suggestion or two:goodjob: revamp

Aye, we're all safe and sound, just a bit wobbly for the moment; much appreciated though Sunflower, means a lot!

Aw, you're too kind! If I am as you say, then it's only through the encouragement and support of beautiful people such as yourself, so THANK YOU! Coco gets glomped by Momo  :heart: :rose:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

:blush: Thank you! I apologize if they tend to get long sometimes... I often will just get caught up in writing, and I forget where to stop and control myself again :giggle: just slap me and tell me to get ahold of myself if they ever get too long! XD I'm so happy to hear you appreciate them, though! That means a lot, and I think you are just the best, too!

 

I would never ever get bored of you. Never. Can't see it happening! Especially with your wonderful words! You just lift my day up!!! You infect me with optimism, and I am so appreciative and grateful for that! Sometimes I just need to be reminded to smile! Thank you so very much for caring and for being so lovely! My words will never work, either, in portraying how much that means so me.

ETERNAL HUG? (there should really be an emote for that :giggle:) :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: etc so I don't spam this message c:

 

FRIENDS! Definitely. I wouldn't be happy any other way :happycry: I'm not really sure how to always express myself, but we'll figure it out together! I look forward to becoming better acquainted! I really do.  As for being introverted: don't worry, I completely understand. I actually used to be INCREDIBLY shy. I still kind of am, but I've been working to just be myself and not worry about others. We'll go at your pace, okay? I just am so happy that you'd want to be friends, frankly! :squee: I'm excited!

 

You put it perfectly! I couldn't have said it better myself! I really do believe that music speaks one's soul. It means a lot, too, that you'd put such weight to which ones you send. I just love that. I will await them with such love and care! Please take your time, though, and please know that if you forget, I'm completely fine with that! just the thought itself is enough for me! :heart:

 

I'm just so happy to hear this. Thank god. I hope all continues to go well. I really do. Please, as I said, feel free to let me know if something is bugging you! I really do love to listen :rose: other than that, I hope everyone's recuperation goes splendidly!

 

YOU'RE MOST WELCOME! to be truthful, I'm only the way I am, and I've only come as far as I have, through lovelies such as yourself, too. So I shall thank you too. It just does my heart wonders to have such inspirational people surrounding me! :love::hug:

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