[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
For you.

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Ashes on the SandWe put you in
a crystal box
small enough for me
to hold in my
hands
(and that thought gives me
chill bumps)
The tide was high
where we took you
and I remember thinking
how pointless it was
(you were just going to wash
up on the shore)
Everyone was quiet
and some people cried
and as you were tossed
out to sea like so
many grains of sand
I thought how much
I missed you
(Now I think how much
I hate you
for leaving)

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

weight of the worldand suddenly--
it was like the world decided that
it didn't want to carry its burden any longer,
so it shifted the weight
into the hollows of my bones
and told me that
it was my problem now.

UntitledThere is a loneliness that can
come to subsistence in man
deeper than the great
submarine sinkhole of Belize;

a crawling phthalo blue sadness
stolen off of a Picasso palette
of familiar numbing pains.

I recall having heard them
as they bid adieu- to me,
another newly extinct species;

some of us are meant for doom
like stellar sea cows, with only
our skeletal frames remaining.

Our squeaks muted all too soon
in the darkness of the shade.

So it goes: life can drag
a few of us blow by blow,
skewing our limbs and broiling
our skins by very heavy venom.

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 1.3 KB more ▶

More from ~Nullibicity

You gave me sunset loveShe was grass-stained
with bleeding, bare-foot
dreams,

because she’d always said
that shoes were for porcelain girls
afraid of callous skin.

and she was not fear.
not anymore.

when it crept in on white
manicured edges,
she would make lions of trembling girls,
which craved and devoured
from her temples
a sunset-blossom
love.

You can't hurt me anymore.

lessons in surrenderi.
She wished to be dressed in poetry
but she didn’t understand that
imagery fades and that metaphors
are too easily forgotten.

ii.
She asked why I didn’t utilize my
alliteration eyes—why I hid the tag
‘ hello my name is: writer ’
beneath San Francisco bays
and rotting ink grenades,
still in dead crusade.

iii.
I broke pencil shavings in
skybound veins, just to taste
the words
and I bled like a sinner
for mere dreams of some redemption.

“I’m only a poet of capitulation”

InkbrokeI cry words of ink
because my soul has not the worth
of salt;

and your heart had not
the capacity
for love:

I can only gape
and gasp
like krill,

while whales digested,
regurgitating me to aching bellies
of sand; and I am burned
for love and breath…

but I became glass
and dazzled in shards,
while I wrote enough words
to drown you an inkbroke
ocean:

the only heartbreak a poet
could feel.

Dear Foolish Heart:You don't match my sleeves today.

The FesteringBetrayal had never been my Mistress. Though perhaps before she had been gentle raps upon my door. Often we exchanged friendly smiles, but never before were first-name introductions or conventional greetings shared…

Until Him. He gave her to me. He knew the time and the place, and He shipped me off to misery; He made filthy my soul, in the festering shame of places touched, in the childish girl who left sobbing shoulders for hidden why-me smiles; and with those smiles she wondered why her lips were of cement.
The festering came twice thereafter, and still vocals stayed locked in rot and love.

He did this... That man who collected so e

had I wished for sight.My wish-on-me star,
whose ears I filled to secret’s brim,
whose implosions I hemmed
still layers deeper:

I’m sorry I wore stitches
and scabs with try-agains.

You sacrificed paper dreams,
Crumpling and sending airplane
answers until my skies were
wishgiving.

Apologies have sweetened
on tight-pressed lips—
a thick and sultry wine—

but you’re now constellating
apparitions, in city skyscapes;
and my vocal chords
are coarse sand

and silence.

View Gallery · View Prints

Featured in Groups:

#Dark-People

Details

Submitted: March 8, 2012
File Size: 1.3 KB

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 13
Favourites: 7 [who?]
Views: 74 (0 today)
Downloads: 3 (0 today)

[x]

You're a Beautiful Contradiction

by ~Nullibicity, Mar 8, 2012, 7:32:14 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

_{It's damp,
clouds filling the sky with
tension as they always do before a storm.

It's days like these that remind me of you;

The way the cold grips me, then caresses…
it's just like your vengeful hand.
It never hurt me with its violence,
only its tenderness.

The light rain, as it begins to fall around, kisses my
scars,
reminding me in painful clarity of your lips which ripped,
then soothed.

Those words,
I cannot say they never hurt me;
they definitely never built me up.
How could the slap come from your sweet whispers,
and not your hand?
It would be better if you just struck me.
It would be easier to leave.
It would be better than this beautiful contradiction,
your words insisting and pushing at my own
worthlessness, all the while your hand wiping sobs from my cheeks.

Here, I kneel in the rain,
crying for a heart that was never allowed to break.
Up ahead lightening cuts through the gentle rain,
violent but beautiful.
I cave in on myself, trying to suppress my own emptiness.

It's days like these that remind me of you.}

You're a Beautiful Contradictionby ~Nullibicity

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

_{I both love and hate the rain, almost as if it were you; It's just days like these that remind me painfully of you.}

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~tenrec4tea Mar 15, 2013

The imagery is very vivid, excellent. It makes a nice setting.

~Nullibicity Apr 1, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you so very much! Your comment made me smile

I thank you for sharing your opinion and for taking the time to leave a comment. I deeply appreciate it!

(I also am so terribly sorry for the late reply! I took a very long break from DeviantART, and I'm just now getting around to replying to the huge stack in my inbox.

)

~tenrec4tea Apr 2, 2013

It's perfectly fine. If you'd replied any sooner I wouldn't've seen it because I've... not been away, but just been perfectly lazy and wasting time on horrid video games and such and abandoning the lovely deviant friends I have.

Anyways, you're welcome, though I don't deserve to be thanked because I broke my rules which are that I'm supposed to leave a comment that's more than two sentences! I think I'm definitely making up for it now, though... So thank you for the read, and getting back to me at all! It's nice to know that even my shortest comments are appreciated! haha

~Nullibicity Apr 8, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Sometimes simplicity can mean more than complexity. Your comment, however short, was much appreciated: it is not most often that I receive comments, so any and all are accepted with a grateful heart! The fact you took the time to leave one at all is great (: so thanks again!

~SoundlessWhispers Jul 24, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

It's just like your vengeful hand. / It never hurt me with its violence, / Only its tenderness.
...your lips which ripped, / Then soothed.
lightening cuts through the gentle rain, / Violent but beautiful.

I love how you are reaffirming the title with these examples. It strengthens the overall image, as well as the underlying message. I love how the poem itself is so simple 'It's days like these that remind me of you' and yet so complex in its emotion, comparisons, and imagery. I'd have to say that two lines, while not the best, struck a chord. Amongst the poem they seem to hide, and it's a shame they can't stand out a little more, but their meaning is strong all the same:

Crying for a heart that was never allowed to break
that one was a little ironic but that's also why I loved it. It was never ''allowed'' to break, and amongst the poem itself it seemed to say ''but yet on the rainy days it fractures into memories of you''.
and
I cave in on myself, trying to suppress my own emptiness.
Accompanying the last mentioned line, it drew my attention. It was beautiful how there was so much substance, though muted and numb, at the beginning and by this time it's as if it has been hollowed out into nothing but a bittersweet apathy. Followed by the last line 'it's days like these that remind me of you' which seemed to say ''these memories, _{and myself}, destroy until there’s nothing but the rain’’

Then again, those may just be my hasty assumptions and take on something that was completely not intended. Either way, it is a remarkable piece in itself and, while a long comment (I was never good with simplicity), I hope it conveyed to you my appreciation for your wonderful work. I think it's amazing how, even though this is obviously not one of your best, it never skimps on the emotional attatchments, imagery, or the style you are known for. Great work.

=schongslipper Apr 19, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

This is just.... beautiful. I really can't give any suggestions other than "I cave in on myself, trying to suppress my own emptiness" breaks the stanza's direction slightly. Really, it's an amazing poem, beautifully balanced, and with amazing themes.

~Nullibicity May 6, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

See? You point out such valid things! Thank you

! Indeed you are right, and I'm sure there is a better way to word it... I just need to work something out.... Hmm. That's always the hard part: fixing it without making it lose the meaning, or at least some resemblance of the meaning (just because I'm stubborn and feel that meaning should be in there

).

I'm so very glad you thought so! Thank you for sharing your views and opinions: I am very happy to hear other's opinions as I do not know how it will fully be perceived by a reader, because I am the writer... if that makes sense. But truly, I was very happy while reading your comment! Words cannot express my gratitude

=schongslipper May 15, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Gah so many emoticons! =]

Take all the time you want to fix it, or don't fix it. And I enjoy giving critiques, even if I don't do it that often. They truly are the best editing tool. I just wish more people would put aside some time to read things. You're as always, very welcome.

~ichigo10kurosaki Mar 9, 2012 Student Artist

Bueatiful I understand rain is a wonderful torture, isn't it?

~Nullibicity Mar 9, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you very much!

And yes, it's sometimes the perfect torture: so gentle, yet harsh in many ways. I find most of my memories reflected in its puddles.

Thanks for stopping by! I am very grateful for your time!

More from ~Nullibicity

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

You're a Beautiful Contradiction

You're a Beautiful Contradictionby ~Nullibicity

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style