Sta.sh
I miss the wind chimes,
the way they'd tenderly collide like contrasting colors in a
watercolor, spreading music with each avid kiss of silver.
We used to sit and listen, for endless hours, in a silence
only wind chimes dared to crack.
Now it's just me,
in silence—
no company of clinking chimes, sideways
glances, or upturned lips;
nothing.
and I despise this nothing, this torture of my own thoughts,
left completely within the core.
Everything I hesitantly feel,
everything I reluctantly am,
has been rearranged—reassembled and shuffled,
like a puzzle left to a child; carelessly, senselessly.
The time spent on wood-floored porches far
outweighs time spent so perfectly
together,
as I watch the movement of a hundred suns, while one
thousand moons lay seemingly still,
fixed within one point of sky; blue and unfailing.
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and I despise this nothing, this torture of my own thoughts, / left completely within the core.
speechless...
Everything I hesitantly feel, / everything I reluctantly am,
am I allowed to say this is genius?
has been rearranged—reassembled and shuffled, / like a puzzle left to a child; carelessly, senselessly.
hook, line, and sinker. Amazing.
Granted this is only a breakdown of one stanza, but if you can't tell my adoration from just this, I think you need to read it again.
where the heck did that n come from?
...it must be ninja.
The visuals involved in this poem are more subtle than in "Habitual Patterns" yet the contrast between the vision and the sound is striking in an absolutely beautiful way.
Another favorite thing of mine has to be the final stanza, more specifically: "As I watch the movement of a hundred suns, while a/ thousand moons lay seemingly still". My only advice to you is to switch a/thousand to one/thousand simply because a thousand is more of a local American term, one thousand is both more formal and more widely understood.
Great poem once again!
Thank you: you are definitely right! I will change it when I'm done sending this comment. I think putting "one" instead of "a" also helps with the flow, in my opinion; It creates a different sound than "a", and flows smoother into the next word... probably because the "n" which is repeated in the word thousand.
Thanks again!
It seems half-art and half-thought, writing in a bizarre fusion of art, creation and logic, a somehow perfect mix that despite my best efforts on my own works, teeters on the brink of something dangerous.
If I am seeing this then it means you are achieving what I see as one of the three forms of perfect creation, and this has thus earned my respect and admiration.
This may be a warning - be careful, poetry is something close to that madness.
I will agree with you, though I've never thought about it before. Poetry unleashes the mind, lets it explore and be free, however there is a line just like with anything else; the line that runs through us all, deviding santiy from insanity. The more you let your mind fly free and be unleashed, the easier it is to start to leave it there, until you can eventually, in my belief, lose your grip on reality.
Thank you for the warning, as it is heeded, however writing is my passion--my purpose. Because of this fact, I cannot function without it, because I lose who I am completely, and my purpose is gone. Perhaps it's dangerous to balance everything you are on one thing, but that's all I have right now, and it's kept me living through some hard times. I really do appreciate your concern though, and thank you again. I shall try to stay on the right side of the line
Best wishes to you, and also thank you so very much for the lovely watch you gifted me! It is warmly appreciated and I am so very grateful. I really hope to not disappoint you in the future
It creates two minds - the one within reality and the other, of the real madness. Madness is defined by belief in ultimate logic; the belief that everything has an absolutely perfect and straight-cut reasoning to it, no matter how implausible. That is what you want to watch out for. I hold it at bay through sheer force of will, which I'm glad to say is formidable in my case.
I did not mean to ask you to stop, that would be a crime. I write myself, and though my own mind follows in the footsteps of madness I cannot bring myself to stop writing. What you need to know how to do is stop yourself being overwhelmed. I know how, if you're interested.