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Literature Text
It's louder still
but you don't hear it
(and that has to be okay).
Darkness holds me close again -
so safe like warmth and
death.
I am hypothermia
shivering within
hallow catacombs;
hurtling towards
asphyxiation.
Then it gets louder.
My ribs overflow with moths
and bone;
they devour all my light.
It is the fearful thunder
shooting down my arms,
too uncertain for one place.
It vibrates blood and scars
until my fingertips are earthquakes
cracking open famine soil, and
I curl them tightly -
control the fear.
Then it gets louder.
It starts small -
the little things -
amateur acupuncturists
stabbing away at the vitals
of what ifs and could bes...
it's always just the little things.
Literature
To Consecrate
When you first met me,
All you could see was a snow white glove
jutting up from the filth I let them bury me in,
digits half curled
wrist arced and carpels tangled
as if I had once strained
to reach up for something more,
but had long since given up...
Your fingertips were my Autumn
as I walked backwards through Winter-
A sleepwalking shadow
spurred on only by sound of a melodic voice
and the faint whispers
of a promise
that I was worth more than ash and dust;
It's been two years since you first coaxed me up from the mire.
I opened my eyes into a hurricane,
reached out to grasp at the hem of your dress
only to come up short
when I found
Literature
softened
the sky whispers,
ribbons of crystalline quiet,
same shade as the angel dust
you shivered every time we were
alone.
in the darkness, we were
sorry birds searching for
open dawns. you, the
swan, me, the
raven,
black as night and
just as hopeful.
and there were poems
written in your skin, universes
blooming in your hands; your eyes
were a December sunrise saving me
from any sleep.
I’ve decided that
people are a composition of
all their greatest memories—and you,
you were always the most
beautiful piece of
me.
Literature
just
i am everything i never wanted to be.
it's funny to realize,
five years ago i would've looked at me and thought,
"you
are the worst kind
of lost because you don't even know it,"
and now,
i see that's what i was before.
but i'm still just a fraction
of an idea
that tries so hard to show itself.
others say
i should
speak louder,
sing louder,
just
be
louder;
but i was born with vocal cords covered in
bubble wrap.
my fingers curled in,
with my arms pushing against my chest
in an x
because it marked the spot
i often fight to fill,
while
everyone else was armed with pitchforks and shovels and i clutched tightly
with my fingernails
and screamed
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I've been trying to explain my anxiety to Them to no avail. Here is my frustration, screaming in the second best way I know how - maybe I can stop fixating on it, now that I've gotten it all out. If you have anxiety, too.... I'd love to hear if this fit some of your experiences... because I guess this is how it feels for me in a nutshell.
It's basically written from my worst to the beginning - how it all starts. I chose to do it this way because they always see me as the end. Never at my worst. I didn't think my words were good enough, either, to explain the overwhelming feeling when I'm super anxious, so I changed the font size. Please tell me if it's distracting.
Sorry for another selfish piece. I do feel better having gotten it out.
It's always just the little things. /sigh .-.
I might move this to scraps.
I feel like it's crap.
It's basically written from my worst to the beginning - how it all starts. I chose to do it this way because they always see me as the end. Never at my worst. I didn't think my words were good enough, either, to explain the overwhelming feeling when I'm super anxious, so I changed the font size. Please tell me if it's distracting.
Sorry for another selfish piece. I do feel better having gotten it out.
It's always just the little things. /sigh .-.
I might move this to scraps.
I feel like it's crap.
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Comments41
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I liked the amateur acupuncturists imagery...my what if's sometimes come out and do that to me.
Usually I'm more bothered by how someone is perceiving me or if I'm healthy or how in the world I'm supposed to get everything done that my mom wants me to.
Usually I'm more bothered by how someone is perceiving me or if I'm healthy or how in the world I'm supposed to get everything done that my mom wants me to.