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literature
Ink Languid
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Literature Text
[ I watched ]
she tore sanity
from poetry scabs,
manicures fraying—
chipping.
[ I wept ]
she chased words
beneath scarred vows
within her
drowsy veins.
[ I broke ]
she hung and sang
from her tired seams:
“I finally feel alive.”
I felt a little inspired (hence all the odd additions.)
I hope it didn't fall flat; I rewrote it several times hoping to avoid this.
... is the ending perhaps too weak, as I'm starting to suspect?(or straight to scraps?) : P
Crititque/feedback is much appreciated!
(Hello and thank you to all my new watchers and supporters!
Especially a very wonderful ~RenosGirl77 who commented on several of my pieces.
I hope to reply to you all soon~)
I hope it didn't fall flat; I rewrote it several times hoping to avoid this.
... is the ending perhaps too weak, as I'm starting to suspect?
Crititque/feedback is much appreciated!
(Hello and thank you to all my new watchers and supporters!
Especially a very wonderful ~RenosGirl77 who commented on several of my pieces.
I hope to reply to you all soon~)
© 2013 - 2024 Nullibicity
Comments13
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This is a beautiful example of GOOD formatting in a poem.
I don't think the ending is weak at all, the rest of the poem builds well and your final line really completes it.
A very enjoyable read.
I don't think the ending is weak at all, the rest of the poem builds well and your final line really completes it.
A very enjoyable read.