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Writing by ithaswhatitisnt


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Submitted on
June 28, 2013
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My spine is a code
for you to hack
and crack
open like little
white moon flowers

(  I was never good
at “closed,”
except when I
couldn’t  be.  )

I keep falling down
thought wells
and nothing seems
clear enough—good enough,
while you sit and smoke
without realizing you’ve
caught fire.

Sometimes, my dear,
I feel like a [beautiful] disaster.



Depressing music = depressing mood.
I feel like captain obvious xD
Since it's over nothing, it's just a more contemplative mood! No worries!

Inspired by Epiphyllum oxypetalum (a flower) and Birdy's song Shelter, which makes me cry every single time.

I hope it could be enjoyed.

~ Critique, as always, is deeply appreciated! :blowkiss: ~

I don't like the title either, so suggestions are open... and this seems to be a pattern :facepalm:
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:iconsigma-echo-seven:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Student Writer
This is crazy good, the middle stanza particularly so, but I loved the imagery in one and three. The whole thing's great. :)

No thoughts for a title, though.
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Oh my. I'm so happy to hear that you liked this!! I've always been a bit unsure of this particular piece, so it's really nice to receive some feedback! Thank you for just taking the time to leave me these wonderful comments: I appreciate it so very much! :heart::heart:

Thank you so very much, again! Your words are just so lovely :love:

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:iconhanachi-shitsukki:
Hanachi-Shitsukki Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The first stanza is a powerful hook, a before unseen metaphor, followed by a small personal touch, and then... Bam.
''while you sit and smoke
without realizing you’ve
caught fire.''

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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blush: Thank you so much! I'm really happy to hear you liked this~ :huggle:
(Your words were just so lovely. Thank you, again!)
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:icondefective222:
Defective222 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013   General Artist
Instant :+fav:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :huggle::heart:
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:iconwolfxbloodytiger:
WolfxBloodyTiger Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
Okay, scary first stanza that kept giving my ears the sounds of bone breaking and making mine own spine shudder. I like where this piece points.

(Quick spelling thing is it falling down thought or falling down though?)
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I was both thrilled and fascinated to hear your experience with this poem! I love it when people can connect with writing on such a level, and I was surprised that you felt it so realistically! This pleases me so much! :heart:
Thanks for sharing and for commenting! :hug:

(No problem! I can understand the confusion. It's supposed to be "thought wells" because wells are deep and thoughts are pesky ;))
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:iconwolfxbloodytiger:
WolfxBloodyTiger Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
You're very welcome.

Ah, see now it makes sense to me. I thought as much at first but wasn't sure if that's what you meant so I though I'd ask.
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There's no harm in asking! I'm an open book :giggle:
I've also had questions similar to that, when viewing artwork, so I completely understand~
Thanks again! :huggle::heart:
Reply
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