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My spine is a code
for you to hack
and crack
open like little
white moon flowers

(  I was never good
at “closed,”
except when I
couldn’t  be.  )

I keep falling down
thought wells
and nothing seems
clear enough—good enough,
while you sit and smoke
without realizing you’ve
caught fire.

Sometimes, my dear,
I feel like a [beautiful] disaster.



Depressing music = depressing mood.
I feel like captain obvious xD
Since it's over nothing, it's just a more contemplative mood! No worries!

Inspired by Epiphyllum oxypetalum (a flower) and Birdy's song Shelter, which makes me cry every single time.

I hope it could be enjoyed.

~ Critique, as always, is deeply appreciated! :blowkiss: ~

I don't like the title either, so suggestions are open... and this seems to be a pattern :facepalm:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsigma-echo-seven:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Student Writer
This is crazy good, the middle stanza particularly so, but I loved the imagery in one and three. The whole thing's great. :)

No thoughts for a title, though.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Oh my. I'm so happy to hear that you liked this!! I've always been a bit unsure of this particular piece, so it's really nice to receive some feedback! Thank you for just taking the time to leave me these wonderful comments: I appreciate it so very much! :heart::heart:

Thank you so very much, again! Your words are just so lovely :love:

Reply
:iconhanachi-shitsukki:
Hanachi-Shitsukki Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The first stanza is a powerful hook, a before unseen metaphor, followed by a small personal touch, and then... Bam.
''while you sit and smoke
without realizing you’ve
caught fire.''

Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blush: Thank you so much! I'm really happy to hear you liked this~ :huggle:
(Your words were just so lovely. Thank you, again!)
Reply
:iconiamdefective:
IAmDefective Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013   General Artist
Instant :+fav:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :huggle::heart:
Reply
:iconwolfxbloodytiger:
WolfxBloodyTiger Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
Okay, scary first stanza that kept giving my ears the sounds of bone breaking and making mine own spine shudder. I like where this piece points.

(Quick spelling thing is it falling down thought or falling down though?)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I was both thrilled and fascinated to hear your experience with this poem! I love it when people can connect with writing on such a level, and I was surprised that you felt it so realistically! This pleases me so much! :heart:
Thanks for sharing and for commenting! :hug:

(No problem! I can understand the confusion. It's supposed to be "thought wells" because wells are deep and thoughts are pesky ;))
Reply
:iconwolfxbloodytiger:
WolfxBloodyTiger Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
You're very welcome.

Ah, see now it makes sense to me. I thought as much at first but wasn't sure if that's what you meant so I though I'd ask.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There's no harm in asking! I'm an open book :giggle:
I've also had questions similar to that, when viewing artwork, so I completely understand~
Thanks again! :huggle::heart:
Reply
:iconcatwithwings:
CatWithWings Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Student General Artist
I totally love the imagery in this piece~! It's so beautiful. You're so good with imagery.

I think the title fits quite nicely, to be honest. A cycle of breaking and not being able to reach out when you want to or to who you want to seems like hysteria or it would at least bring it about. :)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You... just.. gah :tighthug:
You found the meaning. I didn't know if anyone could: Sometimes I write much too vaguely. I enjoy when others can produce their own interpretation, but I just love love love it when someone else can find the meaning I hid behind my words.
Thank you for being so attentive, and for taking the time to leave me such a lovely comment! It's so deeply appreciated! :heart:
Reply
:iconcatwithwings:
CatWithWings Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Student General Artist
:glomp:

Wow. I'm amazed that I was able to see what you saw when you were writing it. :D People say I'm good at picking up on things like that, but this is... wow. :D I'm thrilled. :tighthug: I love that sense of understanding. :D

I did take a look at the flower after I read the poem, and that might've helped me. It fits this to a T.

It's my pleasure! :D :hug:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It wasn't the main thing I saw... but poetry to me is very personal, so I often tuck little pieces/secrets into each one. When someone catches onto those? You have quite an eye, indeed! :tighthug: It just means a lot that you were paying that close of attention.

The fact that you looked at the flower, too? I just love you xD
Not many people pay attention to the description, I don't think. I'm glad you thought it fit, though, seeing as how it did inspire the spine for this piece. :D
Reply
:iconcatwithwings:
CatWithWings Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Student General Artist
XD I got curious about the flower when you gave the scientific name (usually people give a common name or something). I try to read the descriptions because sometimes they give me extra insight to a piece. :3 Which it did in this case~!
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think scientific names are lovely. Maybe I'm weird, but I also think they can be quite beautiful :shrug:
Well I'm glad it could. :love:
Reply
:iconcatwithwings:
CatWithWings Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Student General Artist
I like them, too. :) I think that sometimes they're more fitting than the common names that people give them. They always sound so exotic to me. :)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly! I'm glad there's someone who agrees/understands :D
Reply
:icondreamamongstars:
DreamAmongStars Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Those last three lines... :wow:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm happy you liked them! :tighthug:
I think those were the three I worried about the most. I was worried if they were too... simple?

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I appreciate it, Dazzy :heart:
Reply
:icondreamamongstars:
DreamAmongStars Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
They're simple, but not in the way we don't want our words to be. They're simple as in concise, adding just the right amount of detail - not too much, not too little.

You're very welcome! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I see! Thanks for clarifying :tighthug:
I'm grateful. <3
Reply
:iconholygreatgrandparome:
holygreatgrandparome Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That sounds like me…
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry. :cling:

Lucky for us, then... we're too tight to be cracked by anyone.
So perhaps there will be a safety of sorts...
I guess time will tell. //hugs
:heart:
Reply
:iconholygreatgrandparome:
holygreatgrandparome Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope so. Safety sounds great right now :)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:cling:. I hope whatever is ailing you gets better soon.
Best wishes to a lovely, lovely soul :heart:.
Reply
:iconholygreatgrandparome:
holygreatgrandparome Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Right back at you. Thanks for the kind words :)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome. <3
Reply
:iconithaswhatitisnt:
ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The first verse is my favorite...such a vivid image, and so beautiful. :love:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, I'm so glad you liked it! :glomp:
I really wasn't sure about this one.

Thanks! :heart:
Reply
:iconithaswhatitisnt:
ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem!! :tighthug: :heart:
Reply
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