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Submitted on
June 17, 2013
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I choked back the crumpled dreams
clogged in my throat like paper wads
of useless poetry
while the ocean continued to eat at me,
one amethyst toe at a time;

I sank like the anchor inked on my back,
and loved of my bones a heavier guilt
to sink and sink, beneath sorrow
and joy, and the shoreline graves.

What’s meant for salt
is meant for tears
but I was never a creature meant
for healing,

wailing through crooked pipes
rusted and creaking from the summer heat
and a silence so well kept
that the dead would stare at me,
owl eyed—
and tongue tied.

(You’d always said that drowning me
was poetry in itself)

I really am at a stage where I feel like I can't write anything... I've been listening to a lot of 10,000 Miles by Mary Chapin Carpenter (adfgfjk I love that song...) and this is what I got emotion wise. Crap I feel like I should maybe hide under a rock, but I feel like some if it works well? No? Well at least the first stanza? that's my favorite! :love:
Feedback would be appreciated, if you can find the time.

~ Critique, as always, is deeply appreciated :blowkiss: ~
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:iconv-espertine:
v-espertine Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
I was never a creature meant
for healing

holy shit.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blushes: Hopefully that's a good thing.
If so, then thank you! I appreciate it.
Reply
:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is so lovely and I can relate to this feeling a lot. Wonderful writing. :D
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so happy to hear you could relate! That's wonderful! :rose:
Your messages always just brighten my day, so thank you!
Reply
:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm glad... :meow: And you're welcome, it's no problem at all. 
Reply
:icona-lovely-anxiety:
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm left speechless by your amazing words. they are wonderfully sewn together, with the utmost of emotion, and I love that. the last stanza breaks you, body and soul.
great work.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
What kind and generous words :blush:
Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment on what you liked about this piece. I really enjoyed your words
You're wonderful.:tighthug:
Reply
:icondreamamongstars:
DreamAmongStars Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is such an amazing piece... I've tried thrice now to compile my words into something intelligent, but alas, I have failed each time. I guess what I'm trying to say is as always, you have done an excellent job of manipulating words to form lines and stanzas, giving them meaning and purpose no one else could have found in them. I absolutely love it.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
d'aww! :blush: thank you!
I don't really think it's all about focusing on making meaning, though... as long as it means something to you, and as long as you write from the heart, I think there will always be a deeper, more profound meaning. Write what comes to you (you can always edit it later) and just try and think of different ways to explain it that best fit what you're going for.
Just keep trying! Your writing, from what I saw earlier, is truly improving! You're on fire ;)
Reply
:iconunicorn-brainchild:
Unicorn-Brainchild Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing job, not only was a choked up reading this but in all technical aspects this is AMAZING!
Reply
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