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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.
RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.
FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.
 
It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.
 
I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?
 
What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –
Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)
UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.
Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
 
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
 
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
 
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

   So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)
Battle in my MindEat.
    Don't eat.
Take it easy.
        Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
            Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
                You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
                    You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
                        They don't understand.
Let me help you.
                            You don't understand.
Show me.
                                No!
I love you..
                                   
Honesty    Written

         from the

              heart.

No eraser.
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
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More from ~Nullibicity

The SurrealistI lose myself within shadows:
the looming, lanky shapes of skyscrapers that veil busy streets and intersections—
the clouds in the sky reflected on pavement like the artwork of a lonely artist,
and even in my own shadow, which hides sometimes when the sun, too, loses itself behind a darkened silhouette.

I lose myself within the ripples upon the water, transfixed by the ease in which rocks skip off its slippery surface.
It reminds me briefly of a beach in Washington, whose massive waves engulfed every rock
I dare let fly, my effort consumed in salt and foam.
I would spend hours washing sand from toes, and wrestling salt from hair
Poetry on the WindPapers sent flying into air,
words scattered and whispered by traveling winds.
By whom will they be heard?
I watch them fold and spread their thin, paper wings,
surfing currents, carrying these words
S   o   m   e   w   h   e   r   e  . . . .
like tiny notes sealed within glass bottles, sent drifting on the sea.

I clasp my hands and hope my words will reach you.

You, who never knew my devotion to pen and paper,
but somehow saw this hidden 'something' that lay within me.
You, who occupies my late-night th
And Here Comes the Cold...Farewell sun,
farewell warmth:
dusk slides between the juncture of shoulder and neck,
cascading shivers down hunched, spinal knobs,
each tremor dissipating within blood
such a dimmed and cooling red.

Hello night,
hello cold:
reminders of pain worm their way between each rib and lung,
compressed over fragile heartbeats,
which quiet as midnight's stupor encompasses each contraction.

thud. thud. thud.

thud. thud.

thud.

Moonlight streams through dusted blinds,
bent from fingers allowing sight to curious eyes.
Yet I hide within inky shadows, which devour—claim,
nestling in my chest and eyes, singing mournful lullabies
that e
WhirlpoolI lay captive to golden irises,
hints of green accenting and outlining each lighted section.
It's like a whirlpool, sucking me down and under,
tip-toeing into each ragged gasp, until all I breathe are
gilded waterways.

Pupils contract, and then dilate; every alteration memorized.
each contraction brings supplementary fragments reminiscent of grass,
and within delirium, black unfolds golden skies.
This tentative bluebird, born from my iris, longs for yours—
to cherish windy coils painted twilight, translucent over gold.
Cerulean feathers long to be unobstructed, unhindered, yet dare not to dream, for
disciplinary walls guard o
White SilenceWhite walls observe these scars,
Red welts of regretful anger,
Marring my skin with nudging reminders.
Each one holds a meaning, committed to memory when carved into
Disgusting skin which trembles before the knife;
It would be easier if indifference did not desert me the minute
Light glints off silver edges, made for slicing and tearing.
It's a hideous sin, but somehow redeeming.
        To white walls I tell such stories, these lessons and
        Memories belonging to puffy lines of flesh, barely hanging onto bone.
      
You're a Beautiful ContradictionIt's damp,
clouds filling the sky with
tension as they always do before a storm.

It's days like these that remind me of you;

The way the cold grips me, then caresses…
it's just like your vengeful hand.
It never hurt me with its violence,
only its tenderness.

The light rain, as it begins to fall around, kisses my
scars,
reminding me in painful clarity of your lips which ripped,
then soothed.

Those words,
I cannot say they never hurt me;
they definitely never built me up.
How could the slap come from your sweet whispers,
and not your hand?
It would be better if you just struck me.
It would be easier to leave.
It woul

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Each Action Holds a Conseque..

:iconnullibicity:

L ies corroding within, the stench
O f guilt permeates the air.
N either the simple pleasures, nor the guilty can
E xtract the empty feeling, and you know better, but still you
L ean towards company's comfort,
Y earning blindly for another.
:iconnullibicity:
Full title:
Each action holds a consequence.

Another Acrostic poem.

Listening to some Three Days Grace and so I was inspired to write this! I don't really have a favorite band due to the mass numbers of great ones, but Three Days Grace is certainly one that inspires me daily :). Hopefully you guys like it!
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:iconsoundlesswhispers:
Mood: Love ~SoundlessWhispers Dec 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconv3n0m607:
~v3n0m607 Oct 8, 2011  Student Digital Artist
o.O you pretty much just explained what it feels like to be lonely by using the word lonely. If that made any sense XD I love this one!
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity Oct 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Makes perfect sense! and thank you! I really enjoyed writing this one :)
Reply
:iconv3n0m607:
~v3n0m607 Oct 17, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Haha good :) sometimes when Im writing responses like that I confuse myself XD
Reply
:icon13xbleedinglovex13:
~13xBleedingLovex13 Oct 6, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Love how you write ^-^ It has so much meaning.

The title really does go with what the words are telling us.

Great job :)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!! That is such a great compliment to me and I am very grateful :huggle:

I'm glad to hear it! I really value your opinion :)
Reply
:icon13xbleedinglovex13:
~13xBleedingLovex13 Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:aww:

Thank you :)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity Oct 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome!
Reply
:iconkwiboh:
~Kwiboh Oct 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This, Kelsey, was pure awesomeness. I've been like this once in my life; in Year 5 to be exact when I had recently gone to Malaysia (after spending 4 1/2 years in England). At first, people were keen to know who I am and how I was but then.... 'Friendships' fade and all that's left is you, all alone in the cruel, cruel world. Back then, I was a shy guy and I wasn't really good at pretending. :> But still, I'm glad life is now good~ -gives life cookies-
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity Oct 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much!

Unfortunately I know exactly what you mean. I hope that a true friend is in your future because they don't simply fade away... they chase you down and then beat you with a spoon for not keeping in contact :D. I was lucky enough to have one of those, and while she moved to the capitol of the state I live in (the capitol is like 4 hours way) I still sometimes visit and we keep in touch :)

Oh if Life doesn't want those cookies I'll sure take them!! :D:D
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