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January 21
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She was the quiet sort,
tsunamis tucked
within her eyes,
anxieties pinned
to pottery skin;

she would mold herself
into moonlight butterflies
and glist'ning calla lilies,

pure and white and
beautiful.

and when night cast
itself upon her in
heated, hard'ning flames,

she’d smash herself
upon the rocks
and in morning start
again.

:iconnullibicity:
.
I would fill her with poetry,
breathe it in her skin; she is the perfect metaphor,
so beautifully whole and wrecked.


---------

I sort of was infatuated with a poet finding someone whom he wanted to write words upon—thrust his passion upon.
Your thoughts would be much appreciated (and any critique you may have: I'm still learning!) :blowkiss:

(and if you don't like the title, please let me know! I've been having troubles lately in titling my work)
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:iconapple-fresh:
~apple-fresh 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Why have I not read one of your works before? Gotta fix myself 'cause this is really beautiful. :heart:
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:icondoublethefun:
I like your style and the idea behind this! The comment on it is intriguing too. I want to read more of that haha
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:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity May 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blushes: Thank you for such lovely feedback! It is warmly appreciated and you are so very kind. I'm glad you liked it! :heart:
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:iconpassionandpromise:
Mood: Love ~PassionandPromise Apr 22, 2013  Student Writer
Amazing!!! <3
As I said before, your imagery... Seriously, my eyes are GLUED to the screen here: I've got goosebumps, and I'm not joking!!!
xxx
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:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity Apr 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your words are so uplifting! Thank you! To hear you received goosebumps while reading just makes my day. I'm glad you liked it so (:
Thank you so much for leaving a comment: it is much appreciated :heart:
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:iconminninnewah:
=minninnewah Apr 21, 2013  Student Writer
Wow. The whole first stanza is absolutely beautiful, creative, and unique imagery! I like how you use apostrophes in uncommon places to mould the flow how you want it. I also love how most of the poem is gentle and pretty, and then the ending is violent and ominous, giving the piece a whole new layer of depth. Very well done! :+fav:
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:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
To have such lovely words from a wonderful writer is great! Thank you so very much for taking the time to both read and comment!
I honestly had not seen this poem as that complex until I read your words... then I realized there might actually be more to it then I thought. The story and reasons behind my writing it were indeed complex... but I am always unsure if the complexity is transferred into the actual poem. My worries are eased, though, and I'm excited to have discovered new things about this piece!

Thank you, again. Your feedback is warmly appreciated :love:
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:iconminninnewah:
=minninnewah Apr 21, 2013  Student Writer
I know the feeling, whenever somebody tells me how they understood my piece, I learn something knew about it, even though I created it! It's an amazing part of writing. :D
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:iconnullibicity:
~Nullibicity Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A very nice way to put it! I agree completely :aww:
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:iconscorpionholiday:
a perfect description of inner chaos shielded by beauty. I adore each word put into it, and honestly believe that the title is very suiting.
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